


Home

by cryoryan



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Cute, M/M, idk what else to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8194558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryoryan/pseuds/cryoryan
Summary: Foxtrot had been training his whole life to prove he was good enough to be a hero. He had pushed himself so hard and repressed his past so that he could join Overwatch. He had never shared anything about his past with anyone... before Mccree.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is so fucking embarrassing guys idk why i'm even posting this. this was just a dumb story i decided to write to get myself back into writing and i fucking wrote this 4300+ word story about my dumb OC and a dumb gay cowboy and i've decided that i'm so proud of it that i'm posting it here for everyone to see my embarrassing writings. i guess i do know why i'm posting this. huh. anyway, i'm going to not deny it and admit that my OC does indeed have my name; Ryan. that's why it's embarrassing. haha. hahahahahaha. please enjoy it i hope my writing isn't as bad as i think it is.
> 
> (slightly beta-ed, still editing lmao)

     “You're, uh... supposed to be a fox of some sort?” Mccree asked curiously.  
     “Yes. A red fox,” Foxtrot responded.  
     “Interesting.”  
     “What, do you not like it?”  
     “Wha..? No! No, I like it, it's just... different.”  
     “Well, I mean. It's not like I'm some endangered species, or worse... an owl.”  
     “I thought you liked owls, too.”  
     “Who told you that? I know I didn't,” Foxtrot raised an eyebrow.  
     “I don't know, I just heard someone say something about that... I guess, I don't know.”  
     “Soo... you've been paying attention when people talk about me? Cause normally, someone wouldn't retain information like that,” a sly smirk spread across Fox's face.  
     “Don't interrogate me, Foxtrot,” Mccree said as he tensed up. The atmosphere suddenly changed.  
     “Ooh, Mr. All Work No Play is back. It's been, what, ten minutes?”  
     “Listen, I-”  
     “No, no, no. I get it. It's a persona. It's who you are, right? Or, wait. It's not.”  
     “I'm-”  
     “I know, I know. You're serious business. No time to relax, right? Or do you just not want to? Or maybe-”  
     “Can we not do this right now? Please?” Mccree demanded sternly.  
     “Wow. Please. Haven't heard that one in a while. Alright, whatever. Anyways, you got a problem with my foxiness, baby?”  
     “I... What? Don't call me baby.”  
     “You're no fun.”  
     “And I don't have a problem with it. It's just not something I've seen before.”  
     “I'm fucking unique, baby.”  
     “Did I not just-”  
     “You know you love it.”  
     “I-”  
     “So, what do you think? Should I add the ears? Or no.”  
     Mccree didn't respond; he just stared.  
     “What? Is that a no on the ears?” Foxtrot asked worriedly. He loved the ears, but Mccree's opinion was important to him.  
     “No, I... I like the ears. I mean, people might not take you seriously,” Mccree shrugged.  
     “Why not?”  
     “Because the ears make you look cute.”  
     “...Cute? I look... cute?” Fox blushed slightly but turned to hide it.  
     “I mean-”  
     “I know what you mean. You mean I look cute. You totally think I look cute with these ears. Alright, I won't wear the ears out in public. They're just for you.”  
     Mccree opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out. He wanted to argue with Fox but he couldn't. He couldn't say he didn't want them but he couldn't admit that he did. Instead, he faked a look of disapproval that Fox knew was just an act. Fox smiled at him and took the ears off.  
     “Did you ever think when you met me that we'd be here, right now, talking about adding fox ears to my look. Did you ever even think we would see each other this much? How amazing is it that we get to be here, together, in a beautiful place for a beautiful reason. Overwatch has made so many things possible for me; things I could never imagine. One of them being here, right now, discussing my dumb costume ideas with you,” Foxtrot smiled to himself in the mirror and glanced to the man standing behind him. He didn't look unhappy to be there but he was definitely a master of hiding his emotions when he needed to; or at least felt he needed to. Foxtrot didn't see the point of hiding his feelings. What _was_ the point? It only ever made him feel bad. Repressed emotions lead to large scale emotional explosions that more often than not became major inconveniences.  
     “I didn't think that. I thought we would be doing a lot more work, though. Instead of standing around talking about fox ears.”  
     Fox smiled again at the fake irritation he had become used to from the older man. In two months of working together, he caught on to every habit, tendency, and trick Mccree exhibited. He hadn't seemed to catch on to it yet, but Foxtrot tried to make it obvious that he knew exactly how the other man acted, spoke, and worked. Fox wasn't entirely sure why he had retained so much information about Mccree; but why not use this knowledge to his advantage?  
     Foxtrot turned around to face the tall man behind him and took a step towards him, “Ya know, I like working with you. You've taught me a lot,”  
Mccree nodded, “Almost everything you know, I reckon,” Foxtrot chuckled at his dumb cowboy lingo.  
     “Well, what about you?”  
     “What about me?”  
     “Have you learned anything from me?”  
     Mccree looked thoughtfully at Foxtrot for a minute before answering, “No.”  
     Fox rolled his eyes and walked back towards the mirror, “Sure you haven't.”  
     “I don't even know your name yet,” Mccree took a few steps to position himself next to Foxtrot. Fox looked at him through the reflection while he messed with his hat.  
     “Because it's a secret.”  
     “I think you have too many secrets.”  
     “I don't think _you_ have _enough_ secrets.”  
     “I have plenty of secrets. None I would share with a person who can't even tell me their name.”  
     Fox's face dropped and he sighed. That had always been a tough subject for him. He never told anyone his name because he was afraid of people getting attached to him. It was kind of like naming a stray animal.  
“I wish I could, I just... I can't,” Fox fixed his eyes on the ground and crossed his arms. Mccree looked at him worriedly. He hadn't meant to make him upset.  
     “It's fine. Don't worry about it. I shouldn't've brought it up.”  
     “I guess this means I'll never know your secrets. Hmph. Lame.” Foxtrot exhaled sharply and scrunched his nose trying to brighten the mood and Mccree laughed at him. It didn't last.  
     “I have a question. How come you act so different with me than anyone else?”  
     Mccree cocked his head in curiosity, “What's that to mean?”  
     “I dunno, you just... you act different. You're like, relaxed and laid-back with everyone else, but with me... you're tense. And you constantly fake- I mean, you just. You don't act genuine? I don't know. What is even up with you. You're so weird, Jesse.”  
     Mccree tensed up at the sound of his name. Foxtrot had only called him by his first name once before but stopped because he felt it wasn't professional. He felt like they weren't close enough to be on a first-name basis. Another good reason, Fox thought, not to tell Mccree his name.  
     “I don't know what you're talking about.” Mccree said, obviously lying. He knew exactly what Fox was talking about. He did it on purpose, but he didn't want Fox to know. It was kind of embarrassing having these feelings, especially for someone ten years younger.  
     “Please don't bullshit me. Can you just be real with me just fucking once? I'm trying to be 100 with you but you're making it really hard,” Fox unintentionally gave a slight glare towards Mccree and turned to walk out of the room. Mccree sighed and nodded to himself.  
     “Yeah.”

* * *

     “Angela, I just don't know what to do. He acts so different. He's not sincere with me, you know? Like he's hiding something from me. I try so hard to be honest with him aside from not telling him my name and past, but... that's a difficult topic for me. I don't ask him about his past,” Foxtrot was confiding in Mercy as he usually did. It was half past noon and it had been about fifteen minutes since Fox had stomped out of the room after talking to Mccree.  
     “I wouldn't think he would have anything to hide,” Mercy responded to Foxtrot. She didn't exactly know what to say but she was trying her best.  
     Foxtrot sighed and buried his face in his hands, “God, I wish I could tell him. Maybe he wouldn't act so fake around me then.”  
     “How come you don't at least tell him your name?” Mercy questioned.  
     “I just...”  
     “Do you not trust him?”  
     Fox groaned, “Of course I trust him!”  
     “Even though he's acting insincere around you?”  
     “I don't know what you're trying to say! Angela, I... I just don't know. I... I have these 'feelings.'”  
     Mercy looked at Foxtrot confused for approximately two seconds before she understood. She knew exactly what Foxtrot meant when he said 'feelings.' Unfortunately, she felt as if her attempts to get Fox to admit it would be futile for he would just deny it.  
     “Two months. It's only been two months and yet I know exactly what he's thinking just by how he carries himself. Just by his facial expressions, regardless of how he tries to present himself. I almost make it obvious that I've picked up on all his habits. I bring them up constantly! Do you think he's even noticed? Does he even care about me?” Fox sounded almost destroyed uttering that last sentence. Why did he care so much about what dumb old Jesse Mccree thought of him, anyway?  
     “I think he does; I think he's just scared to show it.” Mercy tried to comfort Fox as she noticed him look more and more upset.  
     “I'm sorry that you feel that way,” Foxtrot lifted his head up in surprise as he heard Mccree's voice, “I never... I didn't want...”  
     “Nonononononono! I didn't mean it like that. I totally didn-” Foxtrot tried to explain himself but Mccree interrupted him.  
     “Whoa there, calm down. I know what you mean. I'm sorry I'm so... you know. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry you feel like I don't care about you because I'm such an idiot.”  
     “You're not an idiot. I'm the idiot,” Fox exhaled and stood from the table he was sitting at. Angela took this as cue she should leave. Fortunately for her, neither of the men noticed as she slowly backed out of the room.  
     “No, you're upset and you have every right to be. I have been acting fake. I... I guess you could say... Angela is right,” Mccree fiddled with his hat. Fox thought he looked good without his hat on.  
     “So, you're... scared? To show your feelings?”  
     Mccree nodded slightly and nervously chuckled, “I suppose I am.”  
     “Wait,” Fox realized something, “how much of that conversation did you hear?”  
     “All of it,” Mccree gritted his teeth, afraid of what Foxtrot would say knowing that Mccree heard him admit he had 'feelings.'  
     Foxtrot shook his head and bowed his head in understanding, “Fuck. Well-”  
     “You don't need to say anything. Let's just... agree that we both have problems and that we do care about each other,” Mccree's heart skipped a beat as he said those words, “and just keep going on as usual.”  
     Foxtrot didn't want to. He wanted to admit everything and just gush about his 'feelings' to Mccree and tell him everything about himself that Mccree wanted to know. But instead, he said,  
     “Okay.”

* * *

     Don't you sometimes wish life was a movie? A movie always has a conflict, a climax, and a resolve. Pair that up with attractive actors and a good score and you've got yourself the perfect movie. Perfect. Foxtrot wished things could be perfect. He had always tried so hard to strive for perfection; but in the end, he always just felt like a failure.  
     He had trained for years to be a part of Overwatch. He did it all by himself so as not to seem weak. He pushed himself so far to the limits that sometimes he couldn't physically continue to train. Of course, he still tried. Foxtrot wanted so badly to be the perfect hero; someone everyone could count on to carry the team to victory. Someone who was strong, charismatic, efficient, perfect. Maybe it had been beaten into him by his family that he had to be this way, or maybe he had beaten it into himself. He didn't know but it didn't matter. Regardless of who had made him think this way, he would still try his best to be that perfect hero. Even if it was impossible.  
     Foxtrot wished he could talk to somebody about all of these things. His family, his pursuit of perfection, his fears and anxiety over not being able to achieve it. But he couldn't. No one would listen to him. He had never tried to talk to anyone about his past and anxiety before so he didn't know for sure, but he assumed and that was enough to stop him from even trying to talk. People couldn't possibly want to listen to a man talk about his feelings. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. He was supposed to be strong; perfect. He was supposed to be what everyone wanted and needed him to be. He was supposed to be Foxtrot. The sly and mysterious hero who always showed up when he was needed. Foxtrot, the intimidating savior every villain was afraid to cross paths with. Foxtrot, the protector of all the innocent people who needed his help. Foxtrot, the perfect hero who did everything; who was everything.

_“Honey, you'll never be a 'hero' if you keep crying like this. It's pathetic. Stiffen up that upper lip and just pretend like you were never hurt.”_

_“What's this? Tears? Because of a small bullet wound? How stupid. There's no use crying over things that have already happened. Do you think your tears are going to turn back time and prevent you from being shot? How childish. You'll never be a hero.”_

_“Foxtrot? Ha! You sound like a children's show character. No one is ever going to take you seriously with a name like that. And look at how short you are! You're really going to have to make up for those things if you plan to be an Overwatch hero. Haven't you seen them?”_

_“Train harder! Ten times! No, wait, twenty times! Look at how weak you are! You're going to need to be much more stronger and agile if you plan on being a hero. Stop lying around! You're tired? Heroes never get tired. Who are you kidding? You'll never be a hero.”_

      “Foxtrot? Foxtrot...? Hey, you in there?” Foxtrot was awoken from his thoughts by D.Va. He sleepily looked up at her and gave a halfhearted smile.  
     “Oh, hey Hana. What's up?”  
     “Soldier:76 wants to see you. He says it's important.”  
     Foxtrot sighed and stood up, “Alright. Thanks for telling me,” he started towards the door, dragging his feet. Hana watched after him wondering if he was okay but she wasn't sure she would get the answer she wanted.  
     Foxtrot soon arrived at the meeting room where he had assumed everyone would still be. There had been a meeting that morning but only some stayed. Foxtrot laid his hand on the handle and turned it gently. He wasn't in the mood to be in a rush today.  
     “Foxtrot, you're here,” Soldier:76 greeted him as he walked through the doorway.  
     “Yup, it's me,” he looked around the room and spotted Mccree staring at him. It wasn't unlike him to do that, but he had an unusual look on his face.  
     “It's been almost three months since you started working with us, correct?” Jack asked.  
     Fox nodded, “Yes, sir. Best almost three months of my life.”  
     “Good, I'm glad to hear that. Anyways, we thought that it was about time you go on a solo mission.”  
     “A... solo mission?” Fox's stomach tightened and he felt like fainting. He wasn't ready for a solo mission yet. He could barely work in a team of two without getting anxious about being left alone.  
     “Affirmative. What do you think?” Fox looked around the room and saw Tracer and Winston. They were smiling as if they had planned this. They must have thought it was a good idea for Foxtrot to go on a mission by himself.  
     Fox noticed Mercy next. She didn't share the same excited expression as Tracer and Winston. Instead, she looked worried. Come to think of it, it was the same expression Fox had noticed graced Mccree's face. They were both worried because they both knew it was a bad idea.  
     “I don't know what to say. I.. I'm not sure...”  
     “Don't be so modest, Fox!” Tracer exclaimed, “You're so ready for this!”  
     “You've been doing exceptionally well on all your other missions. We definitely think you're ready for this.” Winston agreed.  
     “I mean... If you really think I'm ready, then why not?” Fox gave a sheepish chuckled and tousled his hair. He had always thought at least Winston would be a bit more intuitive.  
     Fox glanced back at Mccree. He was shaking his head. Why wasn't he saying anything, though?  
     “I don't think this is a good idea,” Mercy was the one to speak up.  
     Tracer looked at her with a quizzical expression, “What? Why not?”  
     Mercy smiled warmly and looked at Foxtrot, “As good as he is, don't you think it's a little too early for that? He's still only human. Anything could happen. Shouldn't he have someone go with him?”  
     “What, like you?” Jack asked.  
     Mercy shook her head and looked at Mccree, “No, like him. I've seen them work together. I think this is the perfect mission for the both of them together; not just Foxtrot.”  
     Fox and Mccree both were stunned by these words. Together? Just them? They had never done that before. If they were on a mission together, there was always someone else like Reinhardt or D.Va. It was never just the two of them. And currently, they felt as if this wasn't exactly a good idea either with all of these emotions everywhere. But Mccree at least thought it was better than just letting Fox go out on his own. He couldn't protect him that way. Not that Foxtrot needed protection, it would just make Mccree feel better.  
     “Well, that may not be a bad idea,” Jack contemplated the addition of Mccree. He didn't necessarily care for him, but he knew Foxtrot did so maybe it wasn't such a horrible recommendation.  
     “What do you think, Fox?” Tracer asked.  
     “I'm... I'm fine with it. I just... I know I shouldn't go alone,” Fox responded and gulped. Tracer nodded and looked at Jack. He nodded back.  
     “Alright. Foxtrot, Mccree. You two are being sent to Watchpoint: Seattle. We have intel that Talon may be plotting something in the Pacific Northwest. Nothing too big so it shouldn't be a problem to find out what it is and shut it down,” Jack said as he handed Foxtrot a vanilla folder with the word [CLASSIFIED] stamped on it.  
     Fox felt his heart drop at that moment. None of them knew it, but Seattle was his home. It's where he grew up. He never imagined he would be sent back there, even with it being a Watchpoint. He especially didn't want to think about the fact that Mccree would be accompanying him there. He hadn't been in years, but he knew that as soon as he set foot in the rainy city, he would be flooded with memories. None of them pleasant.  
     “Seattle. Interesting,” Fox said, sounding monotone.  
     “We hope you two will be able to take care of it,” Winston added. He seemed too sure that they would complete the task given with flying colors. Fox wasn't so sure it would be that easy and he didn't even know the details of the mission yet.

* * *

     “So. Seattle, huh? Never been myself, but it looks like a nice city,” Mccree was trying to make small-talk with a vacant Foxtrot while they were on their way to the Watchpoint.  
     Foxtrot nodded.  
     Mccree looked at him expectantly but got nothing, “I heard they have a market where they throw fish.”  
     Foxtrot nodded again, but still gave no response.  
     “You like seafood?” Mccree asked.  
     Fox shrugged, and nodded once. Mccree sighed and sat down next to him.  
     “What's up with you?”  
     “Nothing,” Fox finally spoke but didn't break his gaze with the window.  
     “You ever been to Seattle?”  
     “I'm from there,” Fox said.  
     Mccree looked at Fox surprised, “Really? Huh. I guess that makes sense.”  
     “What's that supposed to mean,” Fox asked. He didn't really care; it was more of a rhetorical question.  
     “I heard that all people from Seattle are attractive.”  
     No response. The silence was thick for a few seconds before Fox responded.  
     “There's nothing attractive about people from Seattle. The only good thing about that city is the aesthetic and the music.”  
     “That's two things.”  
     “Shut up,” Fox snapped. Mccree was surprised once again. He had never seen Fox act like this for seemingly no reason.  
     “I take it you don't wanna go back.”  
     “Why the fuck would I? Nothing good ever happened to me in Seattle. Nothing but character-building _bullshit_. I don't believe in it.” Fox let his head drop onto the window.  
     Mccree was slightly afraid to keep the conversation going but he knew he had to.  
     “What do you mean?”  
     “Why do you even care?”  
     “Cause I hate seeing you like this. You know you can trust me, right?” Mccree rested a hand on Fox's shoulder and Fox pulled away instantly.  
     “People were assholes to me, told me I'd never be a hero, I moved out of the state, and here I am; being forced to go back by the job I left the state to join.”  
     Foxtrot started slowly banging his head on the window of the aircraft and began to whisper, “I hate myself, I hate Seattle, I hate the world, I hate everything. I want to go home but I have no home.”  
     Mccree reached his arm around Fox and placed his hand on the window to stop Foxtrot from hurting himself, “Don't do that, you'll get hurt.”  
     “That's the point,” Fox said but he didn't pull away this time even though Mccree was even closer. Somehow, he felt more comfortable like this.  
     Mccree gazed at Foxtrot and his pained expression. He could tell that whatever it was Fox was thinking about wasn't good.  
     “Hey. I used to think I didn't have a home either. But I learned, after joining Overwatch, that home is where the people who care about you are. You do have a home.”  
     At those words, Foxtrot felt like he couldn't hold it in any longer. He sat up and looked at Mccree, “Do you care about me?” he asked.  
     Mccree was taken aback by the sudden question, but answered, “Of course I do.”  
     As they locked eyes for a few seconds, Mccree noticed tears forming in Fox's eyes. It was the first time he'd ever seen the other man cry.  
     “I... I'm supposed to be strong. I'm supposed to be perfect,” Fox laughed as if it were a joke, “I'm not supposed to cry.”  
     “Why do you think that?”  
     “Because that's what they all told me! My parents, my teachers, my trainers. Everyone. It was like no one believed in me. They always made it a big deal to point out my mistakes and my flaws. So I used those mistakes as lessons and turned those flaws into strengths. I thought it would work out, but all I ended up doing was creating more weaknesses for myself,” Fox sobbed and leaned into Mccree.  
     “Foxtrot... nobody's perfect. Perfect people aren't real... and real people aren't perfect. It's impossible to please everyone. You only need to please yourself.”  
     “I don't even know how to do that anymore.”  
     They both went silent as Mccree sat there holding Foxtrot as he cried. It sounded like a cheesy scene out of some chick flick, but it was real. This was happening and they both wished it weren't. Mccree wanted to keep comforting Fox as best as he could, but he wasn't sure how. He didn't feel like his words would help that much, but he was determined.  
     “You are strong. You are perfect in your own way, flaws and all. Hell, you're stronger than I am sometimes. I wish I was more like you at those times. Someone who can easily convey what I feel. You seem to do everything so effortlessly.”  
     Fox chuckled through his sobs, “That's because everyone pushed me so hard to be that way. Before I was who I am today, I was horrible with my emotions. I never talked to anyone. I cried a lot. I felt out of place. I didn't know who I was. I guess I'm not that much different now, though...”  
     “You're amazing. _You_ are amazing. Even if you're only the way you are because people pushed you to be this way, it was still you who made yourself this way. You pushed yourself to be the person you are today. Everything considered, I'd say that's pretty damn amazing.”  
     “You're... gonna make me cry more... shut up...” Fox buried his face into Mccree's chest. He felt safe. He felt warm. He might even go as far as to say that he felt at peace.  
     Mccree chuckled and wrapped both of his arms around Foxtrot, “Didn't you tell me before that crying is good for you? If that's true, then maybe that's not such a bad thing,” Fox groaned and Mccree laughed again.  
     “I hope someday I can be home for you, Fox,” Mccree said.  
     Foxtrot brought his head up and looked Mccree in the eyes, “It's Ryan.”  
     “What?”  
     “My name. It's Ryan.”  
     Mccree realized just how deep the situation had become for Foxtrot to finally reveal his name. It was that moment he realized he had no choice.  
     “Well, Ryan,” Mccree said his name and Foxtrot felt goosebumps coarse over his body, “I hope I can become home for you someday.”  
     Foxtrot opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a tender kiss. A kiss that lasted longer than it probably should have, but neither of them cared. Foxtrot melted into it easily. He came to the conclusion that Mccree already was his home.  
     The kiss ended and Foxtrot stared, “Jesse.”  
     Mccree felt butterflies; something he hadn't felt in a long time, “Yeah?”  
     “You already are my home.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah, there's that. i'm gay for the cowboy. cannot deny. don't want to. love that guy. should i write more? like... another chapter? i feel like i could. idk. let me know yo


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